APRIL/MAY 2002
Dr Marten's Premier League mid-table finish, FA Cup 2nd round vs Cheltenham Town in front of 2600 people at Middlefield Lane and the Leicestershire Challenge Cup retained at Filbert Street. Could we really have asked for much more this season? Hinckley as a team have grown on the pitch this season both in experience and confidence. Sometimes it hasn't been that pretty, but now and again the result has mattered more than the quality. Let's look at the highlights...
 
Our first win of the season 2 - 0 at home to Chelmsford City, both goals for Jamie Lenton. This game was not only our first Premier Division win but also lifted us out of the relegation zone. We'd picked up only 2 points from the first 4 games, and for the only time in the season we were in the relegation zone. This win lifted us from 20th to 16th.
The game at home to Hednesford Town. Hinckley had their biggest league win of the season as we demolished the 'Pitmen' 4 - 0. On the score sheet was Titterton, Hunter and 2 for Lenton and this win lifted us up to the top half of the table as we reached the heady heights of 11th.
Stafford Rangers had thrashed us to within an inch of our lives when they beat us 4 - 2 at their place earlier in the season. The return at Middlefield Lane would be a lesson about vengeance for them. Rowland, Gordon and Wilkes scored 3 unanswered goals as we comfortably beat them 3 - 0. At this point in the season we reached our highest league position of 10th.
Then the attention was drawn away from the league as we started on our FA Cup campaign. We went to Weymouth in the 4th qualifier with the oppo' sitting in the top 4 in the league and nobody gave us a chance, including me. Having taken the lead through Lucas, Weymouth then equalised with a harshly awarded penalty. Heading for a replay, Jamie Lenton popped up and scored in the dying seconds to send Hinckley into the 1st round proper for the first time in our short history. That gave us a trip to Ryman League Grays, who were also in the top 4 of their league. Who can forget Hunters goal celebrations captured by Match of the Day? Running like a headless chicken towards the dugout and then collapsing on the floor to be swamped by his teammates. Then who else but Jamie Lenton scored the winner? The smallest of deflections from his free kick but the biggest of goals as it eluded the diving keeper and sent us into the 2nd round. Nationwide Division 3 Cheltenham Town, themselves risen up through the ranks of the non-league pyramid, would come to Middlefield Lane. The ground was eventually passed fit for the game after a number of alterations and the Health and Safety Gestapo set a gate of 2661. So everybody crammed into the ground only to see Hinckley freeze like scared rabbits and Cheltenham easily win 2 - 0 and go off on their own record breaking FA Cup run, eventually losing to West Bromich in the 5th round.
This game was a turning point in the season. The players seemed mentally deflated and a nightmare run of only 15 points in 16 games found Hinckley in 17th place, fighting off relegation. Facing the top two teams of Kettering Town and Tamworth, Hinckley would have to try and get a couple of points off them and then win 4 of their last 5 games.
Kettering kept telling us how they were going to invade our ground and indeed our biggest home league gate so far was recorded. However if Kettering thought they were in for an easy ride they were very much mistaken. An early Paul Hunter opportunist goal had stunned everybody in the crowd and left the Kettering players somewhat confused. It took them until the second half to get on top of their game and even then it was a defence mistake that gifted them an equaliser. Undaunted we got on with the job and yet again Jamie Lenton popped up to score the winner from the penalty spot. It wasn't just a winning goal, but Jamie became the club's top goalscorer with a total of 54 goals for Hinckley United. Had we handed the title to our local rivals Tamworth?
Well no because things evened up when we played Tamworth a couple of weeks later. The largest home league gate of 1100 watched Hinckley beat Tamworth 1 - 0. Oh how they moaned! The pitch was terrible, the football was long ball and the players were too physical. It was all something else apart from Hinckley actually playing to the final whistle for once. They thought they would win it just by turning up. A goal, inevitably from ex Tamworth player Scott Huckerby, 3 minutes from time meant that Tamworth's 14 match unbeaten run came to an end and would ultimately cost them the Championship.
A 20 yard volleyed goal from the unlikely source of Guy Hadland could be the most important goal for our season. Hinckley went to Chelmsford needing 3 points to ensure survival in the Premier Division. Guy's opening goal set us on the way to a 0 - 2 win thus meaning we will play Premier Division at Middlefield Lane for another season. Sorry Sh*psh*d!
Just to rub in the salt to Sh*psh*d's wounds Hinckley confirmed their status as top non-league side in Leicestershire, by retaining the Leicestershire Challenge Cup at Filbert Street. A spirited Oadby side were beaten by 3 - 1 as Phil Stant proved that 39 years of age is not past it. The man of the match, he scored 1 and set up the other 2 for Titterton and Blake.

They were just the highlights for me, others will have different memories, including the tw*t that called Scott Huckerby useless just after he'd scored the goal against Welling in the final league game. As I told him at the time, that man's 11 goals have just kept your club in the Premier Division (only with a few more swear words), but some people will always moan, whatever. We have given ourselves a reputation for moaning and criticising at home games and supporting, chanting and encouraging at away games. Is it because none of the shed side old boys travel away? What do they expect? We have realistically achieved what was set out at the start of the season. Now we need to do it again next season. If anybody expects more than what has been accomplished already then they really do have their head in the sand. With the club surviving the step up on the field they are now looking to make the jump off the field. Within a year we will have moved away from Middlefield Lane, hopefully to a new purpose built ground, and the next few seasons should be regarded as a period of consolation only. We might get lucky and have a few cup runs and obviously retain the Leicestershire Challenge Cup every year until doomsday, but we are not set up as a football club to make any kind of push for the Conference or indeed anything further. Next season will see the restructure of the Pyramid System. Hinckley must ensure that they have the necessary facilities, both on and off the field, to be able to compete in the new divisions, whatever the set up might entail.

Congratulations to Dean Thomas, the coaching staff and the players on completing Hinckley United's most successful season to date. Remember that next season.
 
It would all come down to the final month...
...and what a nightmare of a game to start it. Top of the table, and the then favourites for promotion, Tamworth. Having beaten Kettering a couple of weeks back nobody seemed to know what to expect from Hinckley. In front of Hinckley United's biggest ever home league gate of 1102, it turned out to be a drab midfield battle with neither defence giving anything away. Both sides seemed more afraid of losing the match than trying to win it. After a while of both teams being frustrated it began to get nasty and the tackles were more aggressive. Looking like it was going to finish in a 0 - 0 bore draw, Scott Huckerby entered the game. Having been taunted with the 'Tamworth reject' chant while he was on the bench it was obvious he was destined to change the game. Receiving the ball from Stuart Storer down the right, he controlled, turned and the Darren Acton in the Tamworth goal was too slow to react as Huckerby blasted it past him to score the winner almost right on the final whistle. Incredible, probably the best three minutes of football this season! Here we were struggling to avoid the drop and we'd beaten the top two teams in a matter of weeks. Explain that?
We were still realistically 7 points from safety so the trip to Crawley was still as important as it was before the Tamworth game. The wind had decided it was going to ruin any chance of football being played so we would just have to dig in and scrape out a result. As in a number of other games this season, we did the job for 90 minutes. Having had few chances but defended well a credible 0 - 0 draw and an extra point for our survival was about to be earned, only for the defence to stop concentrating and concede yet another goal in injury time. So we came away from Crawley with a 1 - 0 defeat, and on the end of a 'double'.
It was billed as Hinckley's most important game of the season. A win against Merthyr would almost make us safe and in turn would almost relegate the Welsh side. What a way to start, barely 90 seconds had gone when Paul Hunter forced visiting Keeper, Neil Thomas, into a very good blocking save. However the ball ran across goal for Phil Stant to tap in from close range and give us a first half lead, which was a bit of a luxury this season. For the rest of the half it was pretty drab. Although Merthyr never looked like scoring, neither did we. The whole outlook of the game changed within 5 minutes of the second half. Phil Stant and Gavin Beddard locked horns, with the referee only seeing Stant's replying right elbow. Stant got a straight red card and Beddard had a good giggle. Though as thinks do in football it was levelled out in a fashion. Not long after, Beddard fell awkward and injured his leg seriously. He was on the floor for some time and then stretchered off. Well as long as it wasn't anything trivial eh? (Relax, it only turned out to be a torn muscle.) From the moment Hinckley were down to 10 men, we shut up shop. Merthyr couldn't break us down and, despite a massive 12 minutes of injury time, Hinckley won the game 1 - 0. We were almost safe and Merthyr were relegated.
Eventually after a couple of attempts the away game on the Isle of Wight was played. Newport had got hold of the services of Weymouth's David Laws who had scored 10 goals in 12 games for them, including an hatrick. Fortunately for us Laws never really had a sniff of the ball as the game was dominated by Hinckley, only some great saves from Colin Matthews, including one that was reminiscent of the famous Pele/Banks save of the World Cup, prevented Newport from taking a thrashing. While a 0 - 0 draw wasn't enough to make us safe, it was enough to mean that Newport now had to perform a miracle to overtake us in the League.
The only team left that we could do a 'double' on was Chelmsford City. Earlier in the season they had given Hinckley their first win as the score was 2 - 0 at Middlefield Lane. A first half of midfield apathy followed. Hinckley didn't even have their first shot on goal till after the half hour mark, and Chelmsford would think themselves unlucky not to have a lead at half time. Second half team? You bet. Hinckley came out after a DT lecture, and took hold of the game. After dominating possession and forcing a number of successive corners Hinckley eventually took the lead after 75 minutes. Neil Cartwright's long throw was punched clear by Richard Hurst and dropped to Guy Hadland 20 yards out. Hadland volleyed and it was unstoppable. 0 - 1 to Hinckley and one foot out of the grave. This was the jolt Chelmsford needed and they suddenly decided to join in the second half. After a number of Chelmsford chances Hinckley made the game and the League safe in the 88th minute. Andy Penny found himself in the unusual role of right winger. Having lost his marker he crossed for Phil Stant who controlled the ball and unselfishly laid it into the path of Andy Lucas who side footed into the open net, to make it 0 - 2. The final whistle followed and the season's first objective was accomplished. Although it had taken until the penultimate league game, it was still going to be Dr Marten Premier Division football next season. Now the players could look forward to the second objective of the season, and that was to retain the Leicestershire Challenge Cup.
The match against Oadby Town at Filbert Street would turn out to be the setting for Phil Stant's last game this season and what a game it would be for him. Farhad Afandiyev was rewarded for playing in all the other rounds of the Leicestershire Challenge cup, by keeping his place for the final. As early as the 4th minute it looked like it might turn into a rout. Andy Penny fed Phil Stant on the right and he, er, galloped(?) away and crossed for Morton Titterton to easily tap the ball into the net. However somebody forgot to tell Oadby to lie down and have their tummies tickled. They took the game to Hinckley, whose defenders seemed a bit lacklustre and casual. Afandiyev made a couple of good saves, and Oadby actually had the ball in the net before half time only for it to be ruled out after an offside decision. Unusually Hinckley still seemed subdued coming out for the second half and it wasn't really a surprise when the impressive Oadby Town midfielder Bobby Stevenson equalised for Oadby Town. Now if Oadby could actually shoot straight they would have won this game by 4 or 5 goals. As it turned out they had a very good spell of dominance after their goal but could not convert any of the many chances they created. As normally happens in football after so much possession for Oadby they went and let in a goal. Phil Stant received the ball midway in the Oadby half and running at the goal he went past 2 defenders and slotted it past the keeper. This deflated Oadby and they seemed to give up at this stage. It was only left for Leon Blake to make his mark this season with his first goal for Hinckley United. With 5 minutes left Stant, again, made space down the right and crossed for Blake to nod home Hinckley's winner. Phil Stant was substituted to a well deserved standing ovation from the Hinckley fans and then the game was over. Hinckley had beaten a spirited Oadby Town 3 - 1 and retained the Leicestershire Challenge Cup. So Hinckley would now go into their final League game having achieved all of their preseason targets.
Welling United had made sure of their Premier division status in the previous game so there was really nothing to play for them. For Hinckley there was the chance to avenge the opening day defeat. Welling didn't look bothered, I don't think they had a shot all game. For most of the match it was all Hinckley. Huckerby scored the final goal at Middlefield Lane this season on 17 minutes. Lucas got down to the byline and pulled the ball back for Scott Huckerby to finish from 12 yards. After that both sides cruised and when the final whistle went Hinckley had won their last League game 1 - 0 and remarkably ended the season in 12th position in the League, only 1 point off the top half of the table. Now it was time to relax and the players could look forward to a week off before their final game of the season in the Rolleston Cup against local underdogs Sh*psh*d Albion, at Cropston Road, Anstey.
Firstly, Llimah International Park, the home of Anstey Nomads. Just exactly what is International about it? Is it because the pitch resembles the plains of the Savanna, perhaps? Is it because the changing rooms have copied the architecture of the ghettos of Rio de Janiro, perhaps? Or is it because their covered stand has been imported from Kabul, perhaps? Either one it is definately not the venue if you want to play football. To quote Sh*psh*d's Carl Lawrence after he had mis-controlled yet another bobbling ball: "f*****g trampoline!" If it wasn't for the pitch this game could easily have been 4 - 4. Both teams tried but just couldn't get anything to work on the ploughed up pitch. Even so there were a number of chances. Sh*psh*d's Ejiofor was unlucky with a shot on the turn that hit the corner of the bar, though if the goal post was actually vertical it might have just slipped in! Justin Jenkins beat Damon Quailey only to see the pitch steer the rolling ball away from the center to just past the post. Carl Lawrence had a couple of headers just over for Sh*psh*d and the same player forced Afandiyev to save well in the extra time period. However the most bizarre incident was as Andy Lucas had a shot that beat Quailey and came off the inside of the post, roll along the line, hit a Sh*psh*d defender and deflect back into the hands of the now prone Quailey. So it went to penalties. I wonder what the odds would've been for 0 - 0 on pens? As it turned out Hinckley won the shoot out 3 - 2, and even could afford Scott Huckerby to miss one. The Rolleston Cup was won again, the third time in four years.

Then the season was over. Mission accomplished, now stop moaning and enjoy.
 
World of Football Stuff
38 league goals in a UEFA recognised International League and still not even considered for the UEFA Golden Boot award. That is the situation that teacher Marc Lloyd Williams finds himself in. Marc who plays for Bangor in the League of Wales has scored 54 goals in all competitions so far this year, easily beating rivals such as Thierry Henry and Michael Owen, and is the official top scorer in all the UEFA leagues of Europe. However the part-timer has virtually no chance of winning the Golden Boot Award, because of the completely fixed system by UEFA, giving each league a points rating as regards to goals scored. Thus this ensures that somebody famous with a personal sponsor and International place wins their award, and not somebody who actually deserves it. Incredibly the points system was introduced by UEFA in 1994 to prevent another League of Wales player winning it. Marc said: "My league is no picnic. Scoring here is just as big an achievement as netting in the Premiership." Despite UEFA's sponsorship motivated money grabbing ruling, Marc is still currently in 10th place.

A footy team were 'shellshocked' when their game was abandoned minutes before their first win in years - because of an unexploded bomb! Edinburgh Asians FC were 2 - 0 up with only minutes left when the referee blew his whistle and told the players the game was being called. He'd been informed that the Army was going to detonate an 18lb World War Two device that had been found in a nearby garden. If they had won the game they would've moved off the bottom for the first time in 2 years. The Lothian and Edinburgh Amateurs League have yet to decide if the game will be replayed.

A devoted football fan, who has watched every home game played by his club for the last 56 years, has been banned from the club's main stand for the horrendous crime of not agreeing with the Chairman. Retired Brian Wild, who watches first team and reserve team games, had a go at Oldham Athletic Chairman Chris Moss as his side got beaten 7 - 1. The next time Brian turned up at Boundary Park he was told he had been barred from the main stand. Remarkably Brian had recently been awarded a certificate for his amazing dedication to the club. He said: "I think as a supporter for 56 years I am entitled to an opinion. My remarks were entirely gentlemanly with no swearing. At half time we were 5 - 0 down and I approached the directors box to offer some advice. Many fans actually walked out in disgust." All the club could muster was a spokesman who added: "His behaviour was inappropriate." Of course what he actually meant was that it was inappropriate but as they had already got his money they could treat him like an animal just like all the other footy fans that turn up week in week out to pay through the nose to watch this crap.

A woman strangled her boyfriend to death with a TV cable after he refused to let her watch an England match. Zena Burton pleaded guilty to a charge of manslaughter on the grounds of provocation. A court heard how Zena regarded it as her 'patriotic duty' to watch the England vs Albania World Cup qualifier. The row was the last straw between the couple and it ended with her using the cable to strangle her boyfriend. Those who doubt the power of football be afraid.
 
Coming next Season: See you all down the Lane for probably it's last season of football. 12th place is the target to beat plus maybe another run in the FA Cup and winning the Leicestershire Challenge Cup 3 years in a row would confirm us as the top non-league team in Leicestershire. Enjoy the summer.
 
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