NOVEMBER 2001
The Recreation Ground. I had a feeling it would be anything but recreation in the FA Cup.
 
The name of Grays Athletics' football ground belied the task ahead of Hinckley. Grays, who many could compare to the standard of Weymouth, like us were having the best season for a long time. They were currently fourth in the Ryman Premier League and having beaten Conference side Margate in the last round would be extremely hard to beat on their own turf. This season only Canvey Island had come to Grays and won.
The first task was getting to the ground. M1 no problem, M25 no problem, Grays one-way system, plus roadworks, plus no where to park equals nightmare. Eventually we got into the ground. One side had a tidy terrace covered stand with seating in the central area. The other three sides were terraced but also very tight to the playing area. Plenty of grass between the barrier and the pitch too. Space for a dog track? Anyway, Grays have an average attendance of around 380 and the locals came out of the woodwork, as well as the Hinckley 300, and 1100 crammed into the tight ground.
1st half was painfully dour. Both sides cancelled each other out, with Grays doing most of the attacking. Hinckley's defence held firm and Penny and Eustace were solid as a rock. Though the referee's trigger happy notebook was somewhat alarming. Obviously the teacups met their grisly death against the wall at half time because Hinckley, as many a time before, came out for the 2nd half a different team. There is the possibility that not only Andy Lucas has a twin brother, but also the entire team has a twin and Dean Thomas has them hidden away till half time? Maybe not. There were more Hinckley attacks in the first 5 minutes than in the 1st half. One of these attacks led to the goal. A corner came across and Andy Penny bulleted a header towards goal that Lunan did really well to save. He couldn't hold onto it though, and the ball rebounded to Paul Hunter running in on the edge of the area who smashed it past the unsighted Lunan into the bottom corner. Celebrate? Er� just a bit. Unfortunately it would not be long before Grays were on level terms. Only four minutes later possession was lost and Lock got on the end of a Grays' diagonal through ball that split Penny and Eustace in half. Lock gently lobbed the ball over the advancing Beattie and the scores were level. Then followed a period of classic cliched FA Cup football, of end to end breakaway attacks and heart attacks for the crowd. As both sides gave everything, Hinckley got the reward they'd pushed for all second half. Having won a free kick wide of the area about 25 yards out, Lenton lined it up. Strike, along the floor, under the wall, deflection one way, another deflection the other way, corner of the net, onion bag bulge, cue wild celebration. It looked brilliant on Match of the Day, you couldn't see any one of the deflections. Then it was backs to the wall. Grays threw everything at us and it very nearly worked. With seconds left on the clock they could have got an equaliser and even now they'll still be wondering how they missed it. Yet again Hinckley travelled away in the FA Cup and yet again they dug in deep and came away with a result. The reward would be nothing more than we've deserved for our travels, a home tie versus Nationwide League 3rd Division Cheltenham Town.
 
The month of the cup started with...
...the FA Trophy. For once in a cup game Hinckley were at home, this time against Eastwood Town of the Unibond 1st Division. I'd like to say they gave us a run, but we dominated the game, scored 2 goals from Hunter and Brennan, and really were never threatened. It was only in the second half once we'd stopped trying that Eastwood got a look in. A goal in the last minute giving the scoreline, flattering for Eastwood, a 2 - 1 finish. This set up Hinckley for a considerably harder game away to Lancaster City, unbeaten in Unibond Premier division, in the 2nd round.
A rearranged game against draw specialists Bath City was next. Bath were 5 places below us in the league, but the way they started you'd have thought it was the other way round. They passed around us, over us, and underneath us! It was no surprise when they went ahead either. At that stage it was just a question of how may we could keep them down to! After the break, and another tea to the wall session, it was all a different story. Ashley Hamilton had come on and sat in just behind the front 2. This caused Bath so many problems as no one seemed to know who should pick him up. Steve Coates nearly produced the magic moment, having tried some long shots earlier and got berated for them, thankfully he ignored the advice of the Shed. He tried another shot from the edge of the D, and as his shot dipped over the keeper and headed towards goal, it clipped the underside of the bar and bounced down in the 6 yard box and back over the keeper again, to Ashley Hamilton. Instead of blasting it through 5 Bath defenders and the Keeper he gently lifted the ball over the whole lot of them and it clearly crossed over the line before being hooked away. Great presence of mind for the 17 year old. This was quickly followed by a trade mark inswinging Lenton corner, which if it hadn't been for Andy Penny's head bulging the onion bag, would probably have gone in the goal anyway. From nowhere we were leading the game 2 - 1. That's how it stayed until a dreadful decision from ref' Rob Stretton, in injury time. A Bath cross/shot came off the bar and hit Steve Coates on the shoulder. Handball, penalty!? Goal, final whistle, 2 - 2. Another team below us escape a beating.
Considering our record against clubs below us who would have relished a trip to Wales to play Newport County. In a reversal of our away form and our form against lower clubs, Hinckley somehow managed to win the game 0 - 2. Another goal for top scorer Jamie Lenton and a goal for Andy Lucas that took him to the clubs second top scorer were enough to gain all 3 points. 4 days before the big day and The DM League manage to have a full line up of teams for the League Cup. Can't blame the clubs in the FA Cup 1st round for fielding their reserve sides, and Hinckley were certainly not the only club to do so. Atherstone took the game very seriously and against a Hinckley side that had only one 1st choice player, and two 1st choice subs, it was only a matter of time before the goals went in. Atherstone controlled the game start to finish and the question was would our young side manage to keep the score below our record home defeat. Only just. You can't blame the team they tried but needed two touches for every ball and just weren't as quick as Atherstone. The side eventually lost 1 - 4. What you can say though is the attitude of the Shed Dinosaurs was arrogant to say the least. The young lads, inexperienced and naive, were jeered for every stray pass and ridiculed for every move that didn't produce a goal. No quarter was given for a team obviously not up to the standard, and never were they encouraged or praised for good moves.
Where were these Dinosaurs at Grays, when it mattered, extinct that's where!
The Rolleston Charity Cup. Why do we bother? Still we did, and it meant something to Friar Lane Old Boys. Despite having a reasonably strong side out, Hinckley just couldn't seem to be motivated. So when we'd successfully gone 2 -1 behind, why on earth did we equalise? OK the goal will mean everything to Justin Jenkins because it was his first for the club, but it now means having won the penalty shoot out, we have to play another Rolleston Cup match.
Kettering had played our next round FA Cup opponents Cheltenham and lost 1 - 6, at home, only the week before. Would Hinckley be on the end of a backlash? Well, not really, no. Kettering came out looking to attack and again Hinckley conceded a lot of possession and defended stoutly. It was only a matter of time though as Kettering had so much of the ball, but the goal was a give away really coming from a needless back pass from Hadland, which resulted in a set piece for Kettering, but it was a good header from Kettering nonetheless. Hinckley only woke up after the goal, but did enough to go in at half time level, which they did. A corner to the far post was headed back by Cartwright and Paul Hunter headed it home, right on the half time whistle. The second half was a pretty drab affair, both teams looked tired and the game seemed to be heading for a fair 1 - 1 draw, when unlike Grays, the luck went against us. Kettering put a free kick into the box and after rebounding off a couple of players fell at the feet of the fortunately placed Niall Inman who scored from approx' 3 yards out. Hinckley never seemed to be able to threaten after that, having lost Paul Hunter to an injury sustained colliding with the advertising boarding, the forward line of Jenkins and Gordon were well shepherded by the experienced Kettering defence. The game ended and we were on the end of a familiar away league defeat.
On the whole though, the month of the cup would have to be viewed as a successful one as our next two games, in the start of December, would testify.
 
World of Football Stuff
Mascots, ah my favourite subject. Following certain on and off field Football Mascot related vaguely comical or mischievous events, the Football League has drawn up a set of Mascot Rules.
Mascot's Code of Conduct:
1. Do not dance, jump around or flap wings behind the goal while an opposing team is taking a penalty.
2. Keep entire costume on while in character. Mooning at the opposition is therefore prohibited.
3. Do not attack other mascots, whatever animal they resemble.
4. Do not wander onto the pitch while a match is in progress.
Extra rules they should possibly consider for Mascots are:
5. Always remember you are a human being inside a suit and not actually a giant Shrimp/Bear/Lion.
6. Try getting a job at McDonalds like all the other students!
 
A Bishop solemnly stood on Oxford United's pitch and performed an exorcism to lift a gypsy curse on the 3rd Division side. The Bishop of Oxford, accompanied by the club Chaplain, sprinkled holy water on the pitch and prayed for the wicked spirit to be cast out. The Bishop was called in after Oxford had moved to their �15 Million new stadium and suffered a terrible start to the season. The club was forced to evict gypsies from the site when the land was bought 2 years ago. The club had to go through the High Court to evict the gypsies and the curse was placed then. Oxford United's manager, Mark Wright, was unsurprisingly not available for a comment. The National Gypsy Council added: "want to buy some pegs deary?" The question both of you are asking though is did it work? Well, the first home game at the stadium... Oxford United 3 - 0 Cheltenham Town. I'll have some of them pegs afterall.
 
Goalkeeper Lawrence Fisher of Falcon Rangers in Trowbridge has been booked five times for mooning at rival penalty takers. Apparently none has scored! You've got to ask yourself what offence was he booked for. Can't be ungentlemanly conduct, as baring one's bottom is exactly the type of gentlemanly conduct you'd expect at places like Eton and Oxford!
 
Proud Norwich fan (?) Esthar Jacobs refused to go to football training at school because the coach was from rivals, Ipswich. She also refused autographed posters of Ipswich's Premiership squad, handed out by Horses trainer David Llewellyn (is Dai moonlighting?). Staff at her school gave her detention (self obsessed control freaks that are teachers!). Her dad Lee said: "She's been obsessed with Norwich since I first took her to Carrow Road two years ago, she doesn't even like the colour blue." Personally I think it's absolutely disgusting... they let females onto a football coaching course?
 
Coming next Month: Hinckley United's biggest game ever! Do I need say anymore...?
 
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